I was hanging out with Emily; a peculiar night of drinking and carnivales ahead of us and the familiar feeling of ‘almost knowing’ what’s to come, the darks of this town and the sensations of being smothered.. This could not be real. I was dreaming but it felt so real, almost as if I died for those 7 (maybe 6) hours.

do you ever wonder why dreams are so vague? Or do you wonder why during a nightmare you wake up immediately after the ‘scariest’ part? Why not a little after? Or heck, why not before it happens?

While a psychologist or therapist may be able to answer  two of those questions, I can certainly answer the other. Dreams are the winding down of our (your) daily thinking patterns. Stressed about work? You’ll later dream of a related scenario involving work. Trouble with bullies? You may dream one or many “scenes” depicting your thoughts and fears. Like one of those goofy YouTube videos worded; dreams are movies that live in your head! Irrational? No! I’m being realistic when I say there are those who sleep more than 20 hours at a time for the sole purpose of that certain chemical released during dreaming.

What is this magic called?

DMT; the magic molecule that had Alex Grey tripping balls for 20 years. Basically, it is such a persistent (and rare) drug that the brain releases which causes dreams, night terrors, sleep paralysis and lucidity. It must be a hellava drug for people to seek it out and try to imitate those natural trips.

Funny story; my mother once mentioned dyeing her hair black for Halloween and afterwards, I hit the sack and dreamed of a depiction of my mother with this ‘black hair’ that appeared more like a witch wig than a hairdo. Also, I noticed in the dream that I was aware that I was dreaming and tried to act like the fat kid from that movie “Fat kid rules the world” until I realized I couldn’t run or scream. In that moment, I also began to feel this “tickly sensation” as if some kind of fear swept over me and I couldn’t move.

The same ‘tickle’ followed me since I first experienced it at 14 after watching “That 70’s show”.. In the dream, Donna turned into a pink bird (sort of like those flamingo things in Labyrinth) and started tickling me. It was such an irrational and unpredictable feeling and as I recall, the sensation occurs once every now and again.

I would like to mention that keeping a dream diary or journal can help you memorize dreams and moods (yes, just like in the butterfly effect) but only to an extent. And for those creative folks who like to experiment with weird and crazy ideas, this is even better for you. I first started making dream journals around 14 and stopped that same year. After taking my first writing class in 2012, Jana Bomersbach, who was my teacher at the time decided to give me some pointers and somehow we got into the topic of dreams and she urged me to continue writing in my journal after I explained my past. It helped tremendously because as a writer, I never know what I will dream and therefore I never know what I will write. Sometimes it’s messy, peculiar; odd- sometimes it is beautiful and subtle.

Stress turns into sleepless nights turns into sleepless habits turns into sleepless lifestyle and when you do sleep you’ll end up projecting your uncertainties through a series of what I like to call “wave dreams”. You should never stress about things that are out of your control but if you must, listen to what your mind is telling you. You will be at a certain peace, which in turn will help others to find their own peace, minimizing room for violence and chaos.

As the classic song reads; “Listen to the color of your dreams.. Perhaps John Lennon was warning us of this? No… I learned my ways from some man named nobody- without a capital. Yes, the one in our head.

On a more productive note, come to terms with your issues because before you go to bed, they will be swarming your mind and invading your dreams. And you don’t want some fucked up dream like some baby licking the brains of a doll or a giant wax man swimming in your levee.

Dreams mirror reality which mirrors who you are and there is no definitive approach to solving your problems because life is relative to you as an individual.

Thank you for reading!


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